For me the journey began when I turned 27, almost on the mark. Everything in my life started changing and got turned upside down…
I’m an only child and grew up with a very tight knit family. Out of nowhere, my world got rocked on morning when my parents after 30 years of marriage decided to separate. Simultaneously, on that same day, our family business – which had been a very profitable enterprise supporting each of our lives – came to an abrupt end. I had also just gotten out of a string of a few toxic & unhealthy relationships and my band of 6 years, that I had been touring and making albums with, had become dysfunctional and stagnant.
Over the next two years I was faced with feelings of loss, sorrow, fear, confusion. I was questioning everything that I had been so certain about: my relationships, my friendships, financial sustenance, where I was living… The list went on and on. I would wake up in the morning feeling lost and confused, like I was stuck in the mud and trudging through stagnant energy. It felt like everything in my life was shifting.
Throughout this process of change, though, there were a few things that were consistent. One, my evening Kundalini Yoga practice never changed. I had been doing So Darshan Chakra Kriya for 12 years or so without missing a day. This was a meditation Yogi Bhajan had instructed me to do when I was young and he said, of course, “Do it for 1000 days. Master it. And never miss a day!” I was 11 years old when he told me that it took me years to make and keep that commitment to myself, but eventually I did it for 1000 days and continued for years after because it just felt so good and anchored me. This meditation was and still is like an anchor to my soul. No matter what is happening in my life, THAT is always going to be there.
The second anchor in my life was music. It’s my greatest love, the channel through which I experience the strongest connection to source, and without that I think I probably would have wilted from the pressure of so much change happening at that time. Staying rooted to what I love, doing it even though I didn’t feel inspired or felt depressed, etc., helped carry me through.
The last was tribe and friendship. As my wife (still getting used that term – we just got married a few weeks ago!) often says, “Healing happens in community.” And that is true. As I was nearing the end of my Saturn Return, I found a tribe of people who were real, who were being authentically themselves, not trying to be “cool” or “smart” or look “spiritual”. Being around them all that mattered was, “Be yourself.” It was a game changer and I’m forever thankful. They saw me for me, not who I had been raised to be, not who I wanted them to think I was, especially when I was down or feeling depleted. Just that reflection alone helped to life me up and give me hope that I could figure out what to make of all the changes, and to accept that even though some of it hurt, holding onto it hurt a lot more.
I’m a singer-songwriter and lyricist and there’s a line in the song “In the Gut” from my new album Saturn Return that talks about this lifting up:
“It takes a village to get outta this hole
Takes somebody to heal your soul…
To celebrate you.
Help you pick the pieces up & put them back there in your hands,
In your own hands.”
That’s what a tribe, a circle of friends, a close confidant can do. I’m not saying we can’t give this to ourselves. We can. Ultimately that self love can only come from us. But if God is in all of us, which I think we can safely say is true, then someone helping us is actually God helping God.
I continued to do my practice, I went to therapy, I read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I did White Tantric Yoga, I attended sacred ceremonies, and many other things along the way.. Each of these practices seemed to keep coming down to the same thing: purpose & authenticity. If I wasn’t being true to myself & the inner purpose I’ve always had, it was painfully (literally & figuratively) obvious. So long as I recognized that was the source of my discomfort and struggle, I was able to do something about it and things got better. Much better.
I moved from San Diego to LA, I opened myself up to my fears of a new relationship and met the woman of my dreams. I cut my beard and remained a Sikh. I continued to deepen my practice with Kundalini Yoga. I took the initiative to create a new career for myself in Real Estate to prosper and be able to keep creating music. I moved again to Joshua Tree where I found space and relaxation and time to reflect.
From this reflection poured out a new album of music called Saturn Return. These songs of transformation came through as a transmission from beyond, and though this record has my name on it… it’s not mine. It’s ours. The beautiful and cutting truths that the collective unconscious spoke to me changed my life and are definitely not mine… they’re for all of us, and particularly anyone going through huge shifts.
The album is now part of a special, curated package called the Saturn Return Survival Toolkit: Practices to Elevate Through Your Saturn Return. This package includes a long lost Kundalini yoga set “The Saturn Kriyas” that Yogi Bhajan gave his early students, like Guru Singh (who we captured teaching the set on film), to aide them in their time of transformation. Also included are additional videos that take an in-depth look at what Saturn Return IS, what’s taking place astrologically, how that might apply to you with your specific sign, and why it’s such an important time to bring awareness to. These tools work and are designed for anyBODY going through huge shifts, whether in their Saturn Return or not. So please, use them!
With great love and gratitude,
Hargobind Hari Singh – aka HARGO